Sunday, March 10, 2013

sunday snapshots

I started writing this yesterday, it was supposed to be "saturday snippets", but then life (kids) happened and my daughter deleted the entire post...

I don't even know how she did it.  I was busy with  her older brother, he was getting into things he shouldn't, and my laptop sat on the couch.  When she realized the coast was clear she darted over and began mashing buttons as fast and as hard as she could.  And somehow everything got erased.

Anyway, "saturday snippets" is now "sunday snapshots".  These snapshots are moments that happen sort of tucked neatly into the monotony of everyday life.  I've spoken of them before.  Inbetween the cleaning, and the cooking, and the diapers, and the kid corralling, these little moments are expressions of the dynamic that lays just under the surface of everyday life.


(A little background, I'm not allowed to drink Mt. Dew soda anymore because it gives me horrid stomach aches.  Unfortunately, it is my favorite soda and sometimes I just can't resist...)

Vincent: (As we are walking from Papa Murphy's to our car, kids in tow) Is that Mt. Dew in your hand?!
Me: Ummm... yes?
Vincent: Go back and exchange it. Now.
Me: But, but there isn't anything else I like!
Vincent: (incredulously) There isn't any Pepsi?
Me: No!
Vincent: Fine.  
Me: (hanging my head) I'm in big trouble aren't I?
Vincent: Yes. I'll deal with you when we get home.

Apparently drinking a drink because you love it, and ignoring the fact it will cause you immense pain later, can be considered "intention to harm oneself".  Also, apparently, intention to harm myself is a punishable offense. He considered taking away my phone, or laptop, or Kindle, but decided on a simple spanking instead. His decision may have been due to the fact that I can do anything I do one device, on the other, therefore removing one of them would actually do nothing at all.

(I swear, the moment I start telling the internet universe that we don't do punishment in our dynamic up it pops!  What the heck?!)


(Setting the stage: We're about to get our carpets cleaned sometime next week.  We also have washable paint pens, and yes, I have tested them.  They come off every surface with soap and water.)

 Me: So, the kids got into the washable paint pens and DID NOT (meaning they did) draw all over the bed and the carpet after getting bored with the paper I gave them...
Vincent: They did what?!  Where were you?
Me: So, this time, it was my fault.  I was sitting at your computer, I looked away for about a minute, maybe two, and it just happened.
(After seeing the damage...)
Vincent: You're cleaning those sheets this weekend, and this better not happen again!  Also, you're getting spanked.

(He wasn't really angry, just annoyed.  And no, I have no idea what I was thinking letting the kids be unsupervised for even a moment with paint pens. I have no excuses.)


(What happened first: Yesterday was errand day, we were headed to Costco and Safeway, and if you have young kids you know how long it takes to get everyone ready and out the door.  So, I started flipping out because I wanted to go and Vincent was not in as big of a hurry as I.)

Vincent: (Overtop of me flipping out) Stop.  Alex, just stop!
Me: But I want to go and...
Vincent: No. I'm pulling a Dom card here, you need to stop talking right now.  We're leaving now.
Me: *stunned into silence*
Vincent: Hmmm, that works really well.  I'm going to have to remember that.

Later in the day:

Vincent: So, I've decided that whenever you flip out I'm going to pull the Dom card.  That means you stop talking at me right away and listen.
Me: Oh, okay.
Vincent: (half joking) Maybe I should have a physical card I hand you and you'll just have to stop talking whenever I hand you the card.
Me: Haha, you're so funny.

And then today, he pulled the Dom card again...

I might make him an actual card just for the fun of it.  I could make it all sparkly and flowery...

*snicker snicker*

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